Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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