only if we run a train.
done.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
