thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
