at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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