Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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