did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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