Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sorry about my life...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
