Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So apparently I’m into choking now
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
