just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
