Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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