There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
