would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
