dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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