he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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