this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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