the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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