Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
