Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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