just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
