Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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