you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
