the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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