My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
