I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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