its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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