He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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