Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
