Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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