guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
