The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
