Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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