Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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