He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think i have herpe
just one?
this boner is exhausting
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
