1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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