Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
