Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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