when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
