I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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