id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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