they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
