Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am available for nakedness
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize