dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
