we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
