i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
