the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
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Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
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HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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