i'm signing you up for texting rehab
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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