I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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