Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
