Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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