ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
