Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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