Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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