Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
