im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize