Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
