erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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