Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
