I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
