He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
