i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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