every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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