He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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