If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
