heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
