A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
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get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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