so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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