So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
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Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
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Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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