I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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